If Only Chapter 5 Summary

Mothers

  • You know how when you're trying not to think about something, there are suddenly references to it everywhere? That's how it is with Corinna and mothers.
  • People at school keep mentioning them, like asking at lunch whose mom is picking everybody up after talent-show auditions. Almost nobody mentions dads. It's like dads don't even exist.
  • Fortunately, Corinna has Joci, who's managing to be a decent friend despite her general cluelessness.
  • One thing Joci is clueless about is the talent show.
  • She's choreographing a dance with Juliette, and though Corinna chose not to audition with them, she still feels left out, and Joci won't stop talking about the show in front of her.
  • The one bright spot in Corinna's day is soccer. She's on her way to practice one afternoon when the new guidance counselor, Cynthia DuBoise, stops her at the water fountain to say Corinna can talk to her anytime.
  • Corinna gets through practice, but afterward she goes home and screams into her pillow. It's hard work trying to keep everything together.
  • When she and her dad finally go grocery shopping that weekend, they're out of everything—it's the first time they've done a major shopping trip since her mom died.
  • Seeing all her mom's favorite products is pretty awful. Corinna holds her breath when she sees the coffee yogurt and Kashi cereal.
  • That night they make sausage and salad, and Corinna remembers how her mom liked to experiment in the kitchen.
  • The doorbell rings. It's Deborah, Corinna's mom's best friend, the one who gave her the fuzzy pink journal.
  • There's an awkward exchange in which Deborah says Corinna must miss her mom a lot (duh). Corinna's dad invites Deborah in for coffee, and Corinna goes upstairs and thinks about how she's both mad and Joci and really needs her at the same time.