I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Chapter 13 Summary

  • Deborah keeps her promise to McPherson and stops being cruel to Ellis, the new attendant in D ward.
  • Nursing students visit the ward, and one of them is disturbed by how Deborah seems to look through her without seeing her. When Deborah tries to speak to the nurse to comfort her and show her that she really does see her, the nurse doesn't understand what she means. (Deborah's language can be pretty cryptic at times.) The whole incident makes Deborah feel less than human.
  • Later, Deborah sees another nurse fidgeting with keys clumsily, and since she regards herself as a very clumsy person, she identifies with the nurse and tries to whisper some words of comfort to her. This only freaks the nurse out and causes her to get really clumsy and trip over her own feet. Deborah reaches out and grabs the nurse's arm so she doesn't fall.
  • Then the nurse yanks free of Deborah and leaves the room. Deborah retreats into Yr.
  • Once in Yr, Deborah greets all her gods with the traditional Yri greeting, which is the word "Suffer." Cheery greeting, huh?
  • In Yr, Anterrabae reminds Deborah that she's not the same as the nurse. They might both be clumsy, but they're not the same: Deborah is poisonous, and her essence could be fatal to any human she touches.
  • Deborah then has a kind of out-of-body experience during which she stands above herself and kicks herself in the stomach and in the crotch, where her tumor was when she was little. She feels such self-hatred in this moment that she asks all the population of Yr to let her die.
  • Deborah's deep in Yr's Pit when another nurse sees the panicked look on her face and sets up a cold-sheet pack for her.
  • Deborah comes to in the pack next to Helene. Deborah realizes that Helene, too, has stopped harassing Ellis. Deborah also realizes that Helene possesses the strength necessary to get well, and this inspires fear, respect, and envy in Deborah.
  • Ellis comes in to check on Deborah and Helene and take their pulse at their temples to see if they're calm enough to come out of the pack.
  • Helene moves her head around—it's the only thing a patient can move when in a pack. This frustrates Ellis, and he starts smacking Helene hard in the face.
  • The next day, Deborah reports the incident to the ward doctor but isn't taken seriously. She asks the ward doctor to at least question Ellis about the incident, saying that because Ellis is so religious, the doctor might be able to sense that he is bothered if he's caught in a lie.
  • Deborah feels the Pit of Yr coming to punish her for siding with the world and sticking up for Helene. It's the same kind of punishment that happened earlier when Deborah sided with Lee Miller for speaking up on Sylvia's behalf.
  • Deborah decides to tell Dr. Fried about the incident with Helene and Ellis.
  • Deborah now refers to Dr. Fried by the Yri name "Furii" or "Fire-Touch" because Deborah had felt a burning on her arm during their previous session, when Dr. Fried reached out and touched Deborah's arm in a gesture of comfort.
  • Dr. Fried promises to bring up the incident with the other doctors, but she also admits she has no authority over the ward personnel and can't discipline them.
  • Deborah takes offense and feels betrayed. She wonders what the point of being sane is if you can't trust that there will be justice.
  • Dr. Fried sternly and honestly tells Deborah, "I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice…" (13.41).
  • Title alert, folks.
  • When she gets back to the ward, Deborah deals with the uncertainty of the incident by following Lee Miller around, since she feels they have something in common. Lee can't stand to have people following her, though, and she asks a nurse to keep Deborah away from her.
  • This makes Yr's Anterrabae try to convince Deborah that this is just further proof of her "otherness." She shouldn't even try to be a part of Earth— she'll only get punished for it, anyway.
  • A new patient named Lucia shows up and tells the other patients how D ward isn't as bad as the other hospitals she's been in. According to Lucia, D ward makes the patients scared because of what she calls "the little maybe" (13.53).
  • The other patients understand this "little maybe"—it's the hope of maybe one day getting well and being part of the world.
  • The thought of getting well makes Deborah start seeing a dark cloud settling above her. Worms start falling out of it.