Study Guide

Banebdjed

Profile

Who’s the ram headed god with the hottie chick squad? It’s Banebdjed. (Can you dig it?) This ancient Egyptian god’s got all the women, and is friends with all the men, because he’s the power of… well, you know. Call him ancient Viagra if you like, because Banebdjed’s all about sex, all the time. Oh yeah.

Basic Information

Name

Banebdjed, Banebdjedet, Smendes

Nickname

Lord of Mendes, Ba of Osiris, Lord of the Djed-pillar, Old Goat, Ram Tough

Sex

Male (mm-hmm)

Current city

Djedet (Greek Mendes, modern Egyptian Tell el-Ruba)

Work & Education

Occupation

Being a very naughty god

Education

School of love, baby. Hatmehit taught me a thing or two, and so did Isis and Hathor

Beliefs

Political views

I’m sure I had some, but I have no idea who they are

Family & Friends (& Enemies)

Siblings

none

Children

Horus the Younger, when I’m pretending to be Osiris

Friends

Isis, Osiris, Ra, Ptah

Enemies

Wintertime. Deserts.

Relationships

Relationship status

Hatmehit is my partner, but I love all the ladies.

Interested in

Women—big time.

Favorites

TV Shows

Sex and the City
I never missed an episode.
The Bachelor
How do I get myself on this show?
The Vampire Diaries
Why do girls always fall for the dead guys? It’s like Osiris all over again.

Quotations

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.”
– Salma Hayek

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
– Billy Crystal

“Who so firm that cannot be seduced?”
Shakespeare

“There is beauty in everything. Just not everybody sees it.”
– Andy Warhol

“Get it on with me”
– Marvin Gaye

Books

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
Even the undead need love.
Having a Coke with You by Frank O’Hara
Sounds like a great afternoon to me.
Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
A pleasure dome! What a great idea.
The Song of Songs
Even the Bible has some sexy time. Check it out!
As You Like It by William Shakespeare
Do what you like.
Seedfolks by Paul Fleischman
Gardens and love? Yes, please.
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Man, Puritans sure were mean to each other. Poor Hester.
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
It’s not all about sex. Not that I’m complaining…

Music

I Need Your Love by Calvin Harris
Nothing better than being with the one you love.
California Gurls by Katy Perry (with Snoop Dogg)
Tasty… but Egyptian girls are very pretty, too.
Let’s Spend the Night Together by The Rolling Stones
Something tells me Mick’s gotten more girls than I have. No fair.
Love Rollercoaster by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Baby you know what I’m talkin’ about.
There is always some Barry White on the speakers at my house. Aw yeah….
Sex Machine by James Brown
Get on up!
Venus by Lady Gaga
Who’s this Venus lady? Do I need an introduction?
Get Lucky by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams
We’re up all night every night in Mendes.
I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles
You know—to get things started.
Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix
My favorite song for my favorite fishy lady, Hatmehit.

Movies

Before Sunrise
Hatmehit and I like to watch romances. We both liked this one.
Casablanca
Humphrey Bogart: What a guy.
Les Miserables
So sad and so beautiful!
The Princess Bride
This movie explains love—even if it is a kissing story.
The Little Mermaid
Even my fish goddess lady likes this one.
Hotel Transylvania
Just like in this movie, there’s nothing you can do if the zing of love gets you.
Enchanted
I’m not just about the sex, okay? I like a happy ending as much as anybody… and maybe I both cried a little at the end of this one.
Dangerous Liaisons
Warning: It’s very dangerous to play with love.

Activities & Interests

Likes

Women
Women
More women
Did I mention women?
Watching the rain (We don’t get much in Mendes, and you can’t watch women all the time.)

Interests

Sex counseling
Infertility treatments
Family planning
Fashion Week
Feminism (I really love women)

Groups

Ancient Egyptian Gods 
Egyptian Mythology
Beauty Addicts
St. Louis Rams
Banebdjedet