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Average Salary: $40,401

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $1,687,000

You could make $60k a year as a rancher. Maybe. You know, so long as your cattle don't come down with bovine spongiform encephalopathy (also known as mad cow disease) and a tornado doesn't wipe out your trailer and your milo crop doesn't fail and your beast of a John Deere doesn't spontaneously combust and you don't need an emergency appendectomy, like, the day before Thanksgiving.

You know what? On second thought, your life as a rancher will probably be a lot less stressful if you just accept that, some years, you're going to be in the red.