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Loan Officer

Odds of Hanging On

Get a real job, Jimmy. (Source)

Don't steal money from the bank. This includes giving a loan to someone who you know without a shadow of a doubt won't be able to pay it back. Not even if it's your Uncle Jimmy—if you know he lives in a van and that he's borrowing the money to try to shoot pigeons into outer space, it doesn't matter how close he was to your mom growing up. You can't give it to him.