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Bell Curve

1
5%

No Where Near Broadway. Salary: -$10,000 

On your very first production at a doggie-day-care-by-day-theatre-by-night, in which you invested $10,000 of your parents' money, you get sued for using a Britney Spears song ironically. Little did you know Britney and her team see no irony in anything she does.

2
25%

Off-Off Broadway. Salary: $30,000 

You've moved up to directing in a rat-infested space in the wrong part of Brooklyn, when a D-list reality television star signs on as Cleopatra. Though the production is terrible, TMZ leaks about the major drama happening backstage between her and her costar/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, so enough people show up that at least the show turns a profit.

3
50%

Off-Broadway. Salary: $50,000 

While working on an obscure Russian drama about a half-minority half-paraplegic religiously-persecuted ex-stripper candy-stripper named Sasha, you get a call from a foundation that supports exactly that cause. They donate $250,000 to put your billboard up in Times Square.

4
75%

Broadway (but not that Broadway). Salary: $80,000 

Now that you've become a hit in the right New York City social circles, you're finally qualified to work somewhere else. You're making bank and changing the lives of little old ladies across America with your incredible production of Golden Girls Live.

5
95%

On Broadway. Salary: $100,000 

The playwright who penned your first production has rewritten the show as a musical―and added vampires. Suddenly, it's the hottest ticket in town and gets a full Broadway production. One of the songs makes the radio, Kristen Stewart shows up for a cameo―everything is magic. Before you know it, the theater signs on for a 10-year run. The show must go on, hopefully forever.

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