Meet the Cast
Amy Cahill
Fourteen Going on Ninety Older than Dan by three years, Amy's gotta be the responsible one. They're orphans with no positive adult influence, so Amy seems to have decided to adult-ify herself. Whil...
Dan Cahill
What Are Little Boys Made Of?Amy's younger brother, Dan, is such a stereotypical boy (in contrast to Amy's anxiety-ridden, book-loving, stereotypical girl) he might as well be made of snips and sna...
William McIntyre
The Puppetmaster—and Not in an Adorable Jim Henson WayIf William McIntyre, Grace's attorney, were female, we'd call him a shady lady. Since he's not, we'll have to settle for the much less sinist...
Nellie Gomez
Whoa, NellieNellie Gomez is the pierced, punked-out, glitter eye shadow-wearing, constant-iPod-listening au pair to Amy and Dan. She lets Amy and Dan get away with almost anything and even accompan...
Grace Cahill
Grace Under FireGrace Cahill is Amy and Dan's beloved grandmother. Well, she was before she dies in chapter 1 and sends Amy and Dan on a race around the world without any warning. They seem to be a...
Ian and Natalie Kabra
King KabrasIan and Natalie Kabra, sometimes call the Cobras, might be Dan and Amy's greatest nemeses. In many ways, the two pairs are alike. They're the exact same age (Ian and Amy are fourteen, Da...
Alistair Oh
Oh, AlistairUncle Alistair might be the most deceitful Cahill we've seen so far. He double-crosses Dan and Amy not once, but twice. He allies with some of the biggest enemies, then double-crosses t...
Irina Spasky
Russian to ConclusionsIn case you didn't get it by her name, her former KGB affiliation, and how she "preferred a steel-gray winter in St. Petersburg" (7.5) to a sunny day, Irina Spasky is Russianâ...
The Holt Family
Brawn, not BrainsAny family with members all named after the last names of U.S. presidents can't be that smart. The Holts are made up of dad Eisenhower, oldest son Hamilton, twin daughters Madison...
The Starlings
Triple TroubleThe starling is a songbird. Originally from Europe, it was introduced to the United States by a group of wackos who wanted to bring every bird mentioned by Shakespeare to North Americ...
Jonah Wizard
Ghetto Superstar. That is What You're Not.Amy and Dan's cousin Jonah, with the help of his nameless father, is an international superstar thanks to his rap career and his dad's genius marketing ide...
Aunt Beatrice
Not-So-Great AuntGreat-Aunt Beatrice is the Petunia Dursley to Amy and Dan's Harry Potter, the Count Olaf to Amy and Dan's Baudelaire orphans, the wicked stepmother to Amy and Dan's Cinderella (and...
The Man in Black
He Walks the LineOut of all the characters in the book, we know the least about the man in black. He has only seven lines in the whole book, all during his mysterious schemes with William McIntyre....