Salary

Average Salary: $23,990

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $1,001,535


When it comes to payday, the outlook is pretty bleak for orderlies. You'll only be making about $23,990 per year. If you're lucky, that number can rise to a whopping $36,390. And if you're less lucky, $17,730 a year will be the thanks you get for your hard work and gross-mess cleaning (source). And if you join a union…we're sorry to report that the wages are basically the same (source). 

 
You won't get many holidays off. Kiss Arbor Day goodbye. (Source)

It's not like the perks are great, either. Vacation time isn't plentiful. People are always sick, so you'll have to work nights, weekends, and holidays. You're going to spend a lot of that time with sick people and other orderlies, so make sure you're good at making work-friends. But, on the bright side, you probably won't work too much overtime. You'll work forty hours a week or less—they'll just be crazy, erratic hours.

It's not all bad, though. You'll have the obvious fringe benefits of sick leave and health insurance, and the little time off you do get will be paid. So there's that (source).