How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"You're not my mother." I say that to her every time I want to hurt her and every time I expect her to retaliate.
"No, I'm not." She sighs. "But for the time being, Taylor, I'm all you have." (2.22-23)
It's moments like this that make Jellicoe Road so darn fun to reread. Knowing the promise Hannah made to Tate makes Taylor's hurtful statement resonate even more. While Hannah probably wishes she could be more of a mother to Taylor, her promise to her best friend ultimately carries more weight.
Quote #2
From the day Hannah picked me up from that 7-Eleven I knew I meant more to her. That we were somehow connected. (6.45)
It seems like in spite of Hannah and Jude's best efforts to hide the past from Taylor, she nonetheless senses that there's something more to the story than what she's being told. We suppose it would be hard to keep a kid from thinking this, especially since Hannah's car pulls up at the gas station just moments after Tate leaves.
Quote #3
Sometimes after we had been working all day on the house, Hannah and I would sit up here and just talk. She never spoke much about her family except a few times in this room. If I asked her anything about them she'd just say they were all gone and that if she allowed herself to give in to the whole sadness of it, she'd never ever be able to operate like a normal persona again. (10.7)
This is another one of those passages that takes on greater meaning once you know the whole story. As a teenager, Hannah did give into the sadness of losing her family, and just as she says here, she was barely able to function. It's interesting to see how getting older and caring for other kids in need at the school has helped her distance herself from her feelings, for better or worse.
Quote #4
Every time I spoke to Hannah about the connection between her and my mother she'd just ask, "Do you feel safe?" I'd shrug because I didn't feel threatened and she'd say, "Then for the time being, that has to be enough." (16.70)
Maybe Hannah planned someday to tell Taylor the truth about her family. On the other hand, maybe she knew that Taylor would eventually reach a point where she'd go looking for answers. Either way, she has the sense to not give Taylor more than she can handle when it comes to information about the past.
Quote #5
I watch Raffy's mother standing behind her chair, holding on to Raffy's long hair as if putting it in a ponytail and there's this pride on her face while touching her, like she's saying, "Look at my beautiful girl." It makes my eyes fill with tears […] It's not that I miss my mother. It's just that I miss the idea of what one would be. (16.137)
The fact that there aren't a whole lot of kids at the Jellicoe School with families who have remained intact just makes the presence of families like Raffaela's even more potent for Taylor. What's interesting is that the relationship between Raffy and her mom makes Taylor long not for Tate, but the experience of being a teenager and having a mom.
Quote #6
It's during those moments that I notice how similar we are. Both Jessa and I have spent almost half our lives brought up by people other than our parents and neither of us have siblings. She has no recollection of her mother, who died of cancer when Jessa was two years old, and I have too much recollection of mine. (17.78)
Once you get to the end of the book, the similarities between Jessa and Taylor all make sense and kind of make you go duh. After all, they're both the product of the tragic situation of the original Jellicoe Road five. Even though she doesn't say it here, we wonder if Taylor senses a connection to Jessa in the same way she knows she and Hannah are connected.
Quote #7
Maybe my guard was up all the time and she was reacting to that. But I wish she had seen through it and I wish that once, just once, I had told her how I feel. That I feel safer when she is around. Sometimes I had tested her, wanting so desperately for her to let me down so then I would have an excuse to walk away. But she never did. (17.109)
Hannah may stay true to her promise to Tate that she wouldn't mother Taylor, but even in keeping her distance, Hannah seems to make it clear that she won't leave her friend's daughter. Regardless of what Taylor does and doesn't know, it's obvious that Hannah is committed to being her family.
Quote #8
Santangelo's dad comes outside. I watch his daughter jump onto him and he piggybacks her to us and I see the look on her face that says that nothing can happen to her if she's holding onto her dad. It kills me to hate them so much for having that. (18.51)
Just as Taylor watches Raffaela with her mom and longs for the experience of having a mother, watching Chaz's little sister with their dad inspires similar feelings of desire for a father. The feelings of hatred and jealousy the absence of a father inspires in Taylor as she observes their relationship are pretty powerful.
Quote #9
All I can think of is Hannah's story. My aunt's story. How strange it is to use those words for the first time. I have an aunt and I don't even know where she is. But I do know that I yearn for her in a way that I never thought possible, and that she's somehow written the story of my family's life. (18.63)
For Taylor, knowing the truth about her family transforms Hannah from a mystery woman who always seems to be there for her to a blood relative—the first tangible connection to family Taylor's experienced since her mother abandoned her.
Quote #10
I sit there and listen to the history of my family, the Schroeders and the Markhams, who set out on their separate journeys that day not realizing the tragic ironies and joys of that collision of worlds on the Jellicoe Road. And of the people they never would have met if it hadn't happened.
Like Fitz and Jude.
And me. (25.138-140)
The car crash that killed Tate's family and Hannah and Webb's parents was nightmarish and tragic—there's no getting away from that—but still, Taylor's reflection here seems to prove that love and genuine, lifelong relationships can rise out of the ashes of loss. If the accident never happened, the powerful bond between the five never would have formed, changed their lives, and led to a new generation.