How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
In year seven, when I moved into the dorms, I was surprised at how much I missed her. Not living in the unfinished house seemed like a step farther away from understanding anything about my past. Whenever I look for clues, my sleuthing always comes back to one person: Hannah. (2.14)
If you've picked up anything from going through these themes, it's that Taylor's relationship with Hannah is super complicated. She knows it's no coincidence that Hannah showed up at the gas station to get her, and yet the two rarely (okay, try never) talk about the connection between them. The lack of communication only drives Taylor further in her quest to discover where she comes from.
Quote #2
I stop and look into Jessa McKenzie's eyes and suddenly I see someone… something that I have seen before. I feel an anxiety I can't explain. (3.41)
Having read the whole book, we now know that what Taylor's experiencing when she looks at Jessa is probably post-traumatic stress. She looks into Jessa's eyes and sees the Hermit's (a.k.a. Fitz's) eyes before he shot himself in front of her. With her past lying in a million scattered pieces, though, this isn't exactly knowledge Taylor can immediately recall.
Quote #3
I told him everything. About my first memory, sitting on the shoulders of a giant who I know can only be my father […] See, I remember love. That's what people don't understand. And what I also remember is that in telling that tale to the Cadet on the train, I got a sense of peace. (4.30)
It's funny how Taylor gets the memory of being on the giant's shoulders all wrong. She assumes it's her father, but it's actually Jude, the only father figure she's ever known. It's also interesting that she gets such a strong sense of relief sharing the memory with Jonah—a kid who's suffering from grief and guilt over his own father's death.
Quote #4
"What you told me," she begins, "won't lead you to your mother. It'll just make you remember something that should be forgotten and never spoken about again. You're right. It is your memory and you have more right to it than me but I'm holding this one, Taylor." (12.137)
We've seen tons of evidence that Raffaela is a great friend, but perhaps the greatest act of love she shows Taylor is by keeping the memory of her molestation to herself rather than giving it back to her friend. She instinctively knows that telling her the truth will accomplish nothing except bringing up suppressed painful emotions.
Quote #5
Some say it's impossible because you remember nothing when you're five seconds old, but I promise you this: I remember the tremble in my mother's body when the midwife first placed her in my arms. I remember the feeling of slipping between those fingers. (15.2)
As we discuss in the Abandonment section, we can't say for sure whether Taylor really remembers the moment of her birth or not. It could be that she's imagining it, creating an image of what her birth might have been like based on her mother's instability.
Quote #6
I don't answer. There's just something about this spot. I turn around and look at the other side of the road where Jude first saw Narnie, thinking she was an apparition. They're not real, I keep telling myself. Those people aren't real. (16.64)
Seeing the spot where Jude and the others planted the poppies is the first hint Taylor gets that Hannah's book might not just be mere fiction. While we can't say for sure, we suspect that her desire for the story to not be real comes from knowing on some level that the characters are part of her history.
Quote #7
My memory is like Hannah's manuscript—distorted and out of sequence. (19.28)
Perhaps one reason Taylor so strongly identifies with the story of the five goes beyond the characters to the structure of the manuscript itself: It's lack of organization and chronology in a lot of ways mirrors her own memory, full of recurring images and people, but not much stability or logic.
Quote #8
My first clear memory of time and place was being in a hospital when I was four because of my asthma. The walls were painted with animals and trees and as I stared at one of the trees I could swear there was a boy hiding in the branches. I didn't see that boy again until I got to Hannah's. (22.4)
There are some supernatural and spiritual elements to this story, and one of them is that elements of Taylor's past almost seem to follow her throughout her life. Did she really see Webb in the tree in the doctor's office? Or do her dreams of late only make her think she did? It may not be the defining aspect of her character, but Taylor's definitely got some unreliable narrator stuff going on.
Quote #9
Suddenly, for one incredible moment, I remember something. That my mother smiled at me in wonder that day and said, "Look at my beautiful girl." (22.78)
Given that Taylor's haunted by the uncertainties of her mother, recalling the memory of the day in Sydney that her mother said she was beautiful is one of the real victories of her and Jonah's trip back into her past.
Quote #10
"I remember…being on your shoulders," I say sleepily.
"I remember you being on my shoulders," he says, putting down the newspaper. (25.155-156)
Jude's affirmation that he, not her father, was the giant in Taylor's memories puts a huge piece of Taylor's past into perspective. She not only remembers love, she knows that Jude and Hannah are responsible for her knowing what love is even in the midst of uncertain circumstances.