Much Ado About Nothing: Act 1, Scene 1 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 1, Scene 1 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Leonato, Governor of Messina, Hero his daughter, and Beatrice his niece, with a Messenger. LEONATO, with a letter I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina. MESSENGER He is very near by this. He was not three leagues off when I left him. LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this 5 action? MESSENGER But few of any sort, and none of name. LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honor on a young 10 Florentine called Claudio. MESSENGER Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a lion. He hath indeed better 15 bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. MESSENGER I have already delivered him letters, and 20 there appears much joy in him, even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. LEONATO Did he break out into tears? MESSENGER In great measure. 25 LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness. There are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!	Leonato is chatting with a messenger about a recent battle. Don Pedro, the Prince of Arragon (and Leonato's friend), has been on the war front and is on his way home. He plans to stay at Leonato’s house this very evening. The Messenger says that the battle wasn’t terribly bloody, and very few lives were lost. But the fighting did give one young man a chance to distinguish himself as valiant beyond his years: a guy named Claudio. The Messenger tells Leonato he’s already delivered letters of honor to Claudio's uncle, who lives in Messina. The uncle was so proud he burst into tears. Leonato is pleased. He says it’s better to cry because you're happy than to be happy because you're crying. Um...okay. We guess he's saying people that enjoy being miserable are, well...miserable.
BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned 30 from the wars or no? MESSENGER I know none of that name, lady. There was none such in the army of any sort. LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece? HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. 35 MESSENGER O, he’s returned, and as pleasant as ever he was. BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight, and my uncle’s Fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid and 40 challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too 45 much, but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not. MESSENGER He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. BEATRICE You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it. He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an 50 excellent stomach. MESSENGER And a good soldier too, lady. BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord? MESSENGER A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed 55 with all honorable virtues. BEATRICE It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man, but for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal. LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and 60 her. They never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.	Beatrice asks if Signior Mountanto is back from the battle. Hero has to explain to her dad that Beatrice means Benedick since that's not his real name. A "mountanto" is an upward thrust in fencing, so Beatrice is basically calling Benedick something like "Captain Uppercut" or "General Piledriver." In short: it's clear right away that she has a playful, if antagonistic, relationship with this guy. And probably a crush on him. Beatrice goes on to say that Benedick came to Messina and challenged Cupid to an archery contest, but that her uncle’s jester took on Benedick’s challenge in place of Cupid and used toy arrows. Translation: no one fell in love with Benedick that day. There’s some more bantering at Benedick’s expense, and Leonato explains to the Messenger Beatrice and Benedick have an ongoing war of wits whenever they're together. Sounds like some serious sexual tension to us.
BEATRICE Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one, so that if 65 he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn 70 brother. MESSENGER Is ’t possible? BEATRICE Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. 75 MESSENGER I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. BEATRICE No. An he were, I would burn my study. But I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with 80 him to the devil? MESSENGER He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. BEATRICE O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease! He is sooner caught than the pestilence, 85 and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. MESSENGER I will hold friends with you, lady. BEATRICE Do, good friend. 90 LEONATO You will never run mad, niece. BEATRICE No, not till a hot January. MESSENGER Don Pedro is approached.	Beatrice disses Benedick some more, saying that he doesn't have wits, plural, he just has one wit left after their last encounter, and it's barely enough to make him more clever than his horse. She then starts in on the fact that Benedick tends to have a new best friend in every one of his endeavors. She wonders who the poor dude is that’s been taken into Benedick’s confidence this time. It turns out to be Claudio, the young man who recently distinguished himself in battle. Beatrice jokes that catching Benedick is like catching a disease—and it's something that will never happen to her.
Enter Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, with Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and John the Bastard. PRINCE Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet your trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid 95 cost, and you encounter it. LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace, for trouble being gone, comfort should remain, but when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave. 100 PRINCE You embrace your charge too willingly. Turning to Hero. I think this is your daughter. LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so. BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? LEONATO Signior Benedick, no, for then were you a 105 child. PRINCE You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly the lady fathers herself.—Be happy, lady, for you are like an honorable father. 110 Leonato and the Prince move aside. BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick, nobody marks you. 115 BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living? BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come 120 in her presence. BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none. 125 BEATRICE A dear happiness to women. They would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. 130 BENEDICK God keep your Ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall ’scape a predestinate scratched face. BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse an ’twere such a face as yours were. 135 BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue and so good a continuer, but keep your 140 way, i’ God’s name, I have done. BEATRICE You always end with a jade’s trick. I know you of old.	The fun really starts when the Prince (Don Pedro) enters with Claudio, Benedick, an attendant named Balthasar, and the Prince's illegitimate brother, Don John. Prince Don Pedro and Leonato banter and are generally happy to see each other. Benedick makes a joke about Leonato not being sure he's Hero's father, but Leonato says he's certain he is, because Benedick is far too young to have seduced his wife. Benedick clearly enjoys a little verbal sparring, and that's what he and Beatrice dive into, STAT. Benedick declares all ladies love him (except Beatrice) but sadly, he loves no ladies. Beatrice thinks his lack of love is God’s gift to women, and she declares that, like Benedick, she has no intention of ever falling in love. Benedick says that's a good thing, because any man who tangled with Beatrice would come away with a scratched up face. Beatrice says Benedick's face couldn't be made any uglier, whether it was all scratched up or not. Benedick calls Beatrice a parrot, Beatrice calls Benedick an animal, and Benedick basically bows out. For now. Beatrice accused him of dropping out of the race before it's finished (a jade's trick), but that she’s not surprised. He's kind of a quitter. Did we mention the sexual tension between these two yet?
Leonato and the Prince come forward. PRINCE That is the sum of all, Leonato.—Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend 145 Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month, and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall not be 150 forsworn. To Don John. Let me bid you welcome, my lord, being reconciled to the Prince your brother, I owe you all duty. DON JOHN I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you. 155 LEONATO Please it your Grace lead on? PRINCE Your hand, Leonato. We will go together.	The Prince (Don Pedro) announces that Leonato has invited him, Claudio, and Benedick to stay with Leonato for at least a month, which will be ample time for drama to develop. Leonato also personally welcomes Don John, who seems to have recently reconciled with his brother the Prince.
All exit except Benedick and Claudio. CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato? BENEDICK I noted her not, but I looked on her. 160 CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady? BENEDICK Do you question me as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment? Or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? 165 CLAUDIO No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. BENEDICK Why, i’ faith, methinks she’s too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. Only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she 170 were unhandsome, and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. CLAUDIO Thou thinkest I am in sport. I pray thee tell me truly how thou lik’st her. BENEDICK Would you buy her that you enquire after 175 her? CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel? BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? Or do you play the flouting jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and 180Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you to go in the song? CLAUDIO In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. BENEDICK I can see yet without spectacles, and I see 185 no such matter. There’s her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? 190 CLAUDIO I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. BENEDICK Is ’t come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore 195 again? Go to, i’ faith, an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you.	Benedick is left alone with Claudio as the others wander off, led by Leonato and Don Pedro. The young Claudio reveals that he’s been smitten by Leonato’s daughter, Hero. Benedick, ever full of taunts, wonders that Claudio could be so bent on marriage, and with Hero, to boot. His eyes are fine, he says, and he doesn't find her attractive. In fact, Benedick thinks Hero’s cousin, Beatrice, is wading around in the more attractive end of the gene pool.
Enter Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon. PRINCE What secret hath held you here that you followed 200 not to Leonato’s? BENEDICK I would your Grace would constrain me to tell. PRINCE I charge thee on thy allegiance. BENEDICK You hear, Count Claudio, I can be secret as 205 a dumb man, I would have you think so, but on my allegiance—mark you this, on my allegiance—he is in love. With who? Now, that is your Grace’s part. Mark how short his answer is: with Hero, Leonato’s short daughter. 210 CLAUDIO If this were so, so were it uttered. BENEDICK Like the old tale, my lord: “It is not so, nor ’twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.” CLAUDIO If my passion change not shortly, God forbid 215 it should be otherwise. PRINCE Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy. CLAUDIO You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. PRINCE By my troth, I speak my thought. 220 CLAUDIO And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. BENEDICK And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine. CLAUDIO That I love her, I feel. PRINCE That she is worthy, I know. 225 BENEDICK That I neither feel how she should be loved nor know how she should be worthy is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the stake. PRINCE Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the 230 despite of beauty. CLAUDIO And never could maintain his part but in the force of his will. BENEDICK That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most 235 humble thanks. But that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none. And the 240 fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.	The Prince (Don Pedro) then returns, wondering what secret Claudio and Benedick have been sharing. Benedick, entrusted with the knowledge of Claudio’s secret crush, immediately reveals to the Prince that Claudio has fallen for the Hero. Benedick thinks Hero is short. The Prince thinks Claudio's interest in Hero is wonderful news, but Benedick takes the love-declaration as another chance to rail on women. Benedick says he’s grateful to his mother for giving birth to him and raising him. Since he’s not a complete woman-hater, he’d never want to hurt a woman by distrusting her. Therefore he’ll never get into a relationship with a women where trust is required (i.e., marriage...or pretty much any other relationship apart from nemesis).
PRINCE I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. BENEDICK With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love. Prove that ever I lose more 245 blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker’s pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of blind Cupid. PRINCE Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou 250 wilt prove a notable argument. BENEDICK If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me, and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called Adam. PRINCE Well, as time shall try. 255 In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. BENEDICK The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write “Here is good 260 horse to hire” let them signify under my sign “Here you may see Benedick the married man.” CLAUDIO If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. PRINCE Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in 265 Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. BENEDICK I look for an earthquake too, then. PRINCE Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato’s. Commend me to him, and tell him I will not 270 fail him at supper, for indeed he hath made great preparation. BENEDICK I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage, and so I commit you— CLAUDIO To the tuition of God. From my house, if I had 275 it— PRINCE The sixth of July. Your loving friend, Benedick. BENEDICK Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometimes guarded with fragments, 280 and the guards are but slightly basted on neither. Ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience. And so I leave you. He exits.	The Prince is certain that before he dies, Benedick will be pale with love, but Benedick quibbles. He says he’ll be made pale by anger, sickness, or hunger, but never by love. In Shakespeare’s day, people thought that sighs of love made a person lose blood, while alcohol increased the blood supply. Benedick says if he should ever lose more blood from love than he could get again by drinking, then the Prince can poke out his eyes with a lovesick poet’s pen and hang him up as a blind Cupid sign outside of a brothel (these often used the symbol of a blind Cupid as advertisement). Benedick goes on some more about how he’ll never wear cuckold’s horns. (Cuckolds are men whose wives cheated on them. They were symbolized by wearing horns, and while this doesn’t make a lot of sense in the modern day, it was the closest thing those guys had to the idea of someone "being whipped".) The Prince promises Benedick will eat his words and fall in love after all, unless Cupid is too busy in Venice. (Venetians were known to love visiting brothels.) Then he dismisses the prattling Benedick.
CLAUDIO My liege, your Highness now may do me good. PRINCE My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how, 285 And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Any hard lesson that may do thee good. CLAUDIO Hath Leonato any son, my lord? PRINCE No child but Hero; she’s his only heir. Dost thou affect her, Claudio? 290 CLAUDIO O, my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, I looked upon her with a soldier’s eye, That liked, but had a rougher task in hand Than to drive liking to the name of love. 295 But now I am returned and that war thoughts Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Come thronging soft and delicate desires, All prompting me how fair young Hero is, Saying I liked her ere I went to wars. 300 PRINCE Thou wilt be like a lover presently And tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, And I will break with her and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was ’t not to this end 305 That thou began’st to twist so fine a story? CLAUDIO How sweetly you do minister to love, That know love’s grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden seem, I would have salved it with a longer treatise. 310 PRINCE What need the bridge much broader than the flood? The fairest grant is the necessity. Look what will serve is fit. ’Tis once, thou lovest, And I will fit thee with the remedy. I know we shall have reveling tonight. 315 I will assume thy part in some disguise And tell fair Hero I am Claudio, And in her bosom I’ll unclasp my heart And take her hearing prisoner with the force And strong encounter of my amorous tale. 320 Then after to her father will I break, And the conclusion is, she shall be thine. In practice let us put it presently. They exit.	With Benedick gone, Claudio can speak earnestly with Prince Don Pedro, who, unlike Benedick, doesn’t use Claudio’s crush to mock and belittle him. Claudio seems nervous about revealing his love of Hero, but the Prince can help him out here, so he comes clean. Claudio admits he noticed Hero before he went off to war, but at the time, the upcoming battle was a higher priority than love. Now that he’s back, thoughts of love have replaced his bloodlust. Still, Claudio worries that if he begins to woo her, it will seem like he fell in love too quickly and she might not take him seriously. The Prince tells Claudio not to worry. He (the Prince, Don Pedro) will talk to both Hero and Leonato for him. In fact, there’s a masquerade ball planned for that very night, and the Prince says he'll dress up as Claudio and woo Hero for him. Great idea. Nothing could go wrong with that.

Original Text

Translated Text

Source: Folger Shakespeare Library

Enter Leonato, Governor of Messina, Hero his daughter,
and Beatrice his niece, with a Messenger.

LEONATO, with a letter I learn in this letter that Don
Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina.

MESSENGER He is very near by this. He was not three
leagues off when I left him.

LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this 5
action?

MESSENGER But few of any sort, and none of name.

LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever
brings home full numbers. I find here that Don
Pedro hath bestowed much honor on a young 10
Florentine called Claudio.

MESSENGER Much deserved on his part, and equally
remembered by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself
beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure
of a lamb the feats of a lion. He hath indeed better 15
bettered expectation than you must expect of me to
tell you how.

LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be
very much glad of it.

MESSENGER I have already delivered him letters, and 20
there appears much joy in him, even so much that
joy could not show itself modest enough without a
badge of bitterness.

LEONATO Did he break out into tears?

MESSENGER In great measure. 25

LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness. There are no
faces truer than those that are so washed. How
much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at
weeping!

Leonato is chatting with a messenger about a recent battle. Don Pedro, the Prince of Arragon (and Leonato's friend), has been on the war front and is on his way home. He plans to stay at Leonato’s house this very evening.

The Messenger says that the battle wasn’t terribly bloody, and very few lives were lost. But the fighting did give one young man a chance to distinguish himself as valiant beyond his years: a guy named Claudio.

The Messenger tells Leonato he’s already delivered letters of honor to Claudio's uncle, who lives in Messina. The uncle was so proud he burst into tears.

Leonato is pleased. He says it’s better to cry because you're happy than to be happy because you're crying. Um...okay. We guess he's saying people that enjoy being miserable are, well...miserable.

BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned 30
from the wars or no?

MESSENGER I know none of that name, lady. There
was none such in the army of any sort.

LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece?

HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. 35

MESSENGER O, he’s returned, and as pleasant as ever
he was.

BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and
challenged Cupid at the flight, and my uncle’s Fool,
reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid and 40
challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how
many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But
how many hath he killed? For indeed I promised to
eat all of his killing.

LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too 45
much, but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not.

MESSENGER He hath done good service, lady, in these
wars.

BEATRICE You had musty victual, and he hath holp to
eat it. He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an 50
excellent stomach.

MESSENGER And a good soldier too, lady.

BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he
to a lord?

MESSENGER A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed 55
with all honorable virtues.

BEATRICE It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed
man, but for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal.

LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is
a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and 60
her. They never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit
between them.

Beatrice asks if Signior Mountanto is back from the battle. Hero has to explain to her dad that Beatrice means Benedick since that's not his real name. A "mountanto" is an upward thrust in fencing, so Beatrice is basically calling Benedick something like "Captain Uppercut" or "General Piledriver." In short: it's clear right away that she has a playful, if antagonistic, relationship with this guy. And probably a crush on him.

Beatrice goes on to say that Benedick came to Messina and challenged Cupid to an archery contest, but that her uncle’s jester took on Benedick’s challenge in place of Cupid and used toy arrows. Translation: no one fell in love with Benedick that day.

There’s some more bantering at Benedick’s expense, and Leonato explains to the Messenger Beatrice and Benedick have an ongoing war of wits whenever they're together. Sounds like some serious sexual tension to us.

BEATRICE Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last
conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and
now is the whole man governed with one, so that if 65
he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him
bear it for a difference between himself and his
horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left to
be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion
now? He hath every month a new sworn 70
brother.

MESSENGER Is ’t possible?

BEATRICE Very easily possible. He wears his faith but
as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the
next block. 75

MESSENGER I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your
books.

BEATRICE No. An he were, I would burn my study. But
I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no
young squarer now that will make a voyage with 80
him to the devil?

MESSENGER He is most in the company of the right
noble Claudio.

BEATRICE O Lord, he will hang upon him like a
disease! He is sooner caught than the pestilence, 85
and the taker runs presently mad. God help the
noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it
will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.

MESSENGER I will hold friends with you, lady.

BEATRICE Do, good friend. 90

LEONATO You will never run mad, niece.

BEATRICE No, not till a hot January.

MESSENGER Don Pedro is approached.

Beatrice disses Benedick some more, saying that he doesn't have wits, plural, he just has one wit left after their last encounter, and it's barely enough to make him more clever than his horse.

She then starts in on the fact that Benedick tends to have a new best friend in every one of his endeavors. She wonders who the poor dude is that’s been taken into Benedick’s confidence this time.

It turns out to be Claudio, the young man who recently distinguished himself in battle. Beatrice jokes that catching Benedick is like catching a disease—and it's something that will never happen to her.

Enter Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, with Claudio,
Benedick, Balthasar, and John the Bastard.

PRINCE Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet
your trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid 95
cost, and you encounter it.

LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the
likeness of your Grace, for trouble being gone,
comfort should remain, but when you depart from
me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave. 100

PRINCE You embrace your charge too willingly. Turning
to Hero. I think this is your daughter.

LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so.

BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

LEONATO Signior Benedick, no, for then were you a 105
child.

PRINCE You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by
this what you are, being a man. Truly the lady
fathers herself.—Be happy, lady, for you are like
an honorable father. 110

Leonato and the Prince move aside.

BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would
not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina,
as like him as she is.

BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
Benedick, nobody marks you. 115

BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet
living?

BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she
hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come 120
in her presence.

BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain
I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted; and
I would I could find in my heart that I had not a
hard heart, for truly I love none. 125

BEATRICE A dear happiness to women. They would
else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I
thank God and my cold blood I am of your humor
for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow
than a man swear he loves me. 130

BENEDICK God keep your Ladyship still in that mind,
so some gentleman or other shall ’scape a predestinate
scratched face.

BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse an
’twere such a face as yours were. 135

BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of
yours.

BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your
tongue and so good a continuer, but keep your 140
way, i’ God’s name, I have done.

BEATRICE You always end with a jade’s trick. I know
you of old.

The fun really starts when the Prince (Don Pedro) enters with Claudio, Benedick, an attendant named Balthasar, and the Prince's illegitimate brother, Don John.

Prince Don Pedro and Leonato banter and are generally happy to see each other. Benedick makes a joke about Leonato not being sure he's Hero's father, but Leonato says he's certain he is, because Benedick is far too young to have seduced his wife.

Benedick clearly enjoys a little verbal sparring, and that's what he and Beatrice dive into, STAT.

Benedick declares all ladies love him (except Beatrice) but sadly, he loves no ladies.

Beatrice thinks his lack of love is God’s gift to women, and she declares that, like Benedick, she has no intention of ever falling in love.

Benedick says that's a good thing, because any man who tangled with Beatrice would come away with a scratched up face.

Beatrice says Benedick's face couldn't be made any uglier, whether it was all scratched up or not.

Benedick calls Beatrice a parrot, Beatrice calls Benedick an animal, and Benedick basically bows out. For now.

Beatrice accused him of dropping out of the race before it's finished (a jade's trick), but that she’s not surprised. He's kind of a quitter.

Did we mention the sexual tension between these two yet?

Leonato and the Prince come forward.

PRINCE That is the sum of all, Leonato.—Signior
Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend 145
Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay
here at the least a month, and he heartily prays
some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear
he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.

LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall not be 150
forsworn. To Don John. Let me bid you welcome,
my lord, being reconciled to the Prince your brother,
I owe you all duty.

DON JOHN I thank you. I am not of many words, but I
thank you. 155

LEONATO Please it your Grace lead on?

PRINCE Your hand, Leonato. We will go together.

The Prince (Don Pedro) announces that Leonato has invited him, Claudio, and Benedick to stay with Leonato for at least a month, which will be ample time for drama to develop.

Leonato also personally welcomes Don John, who seems to have recently reconciled with his brother the Prince.

All exit except Benedick and Claudio.

CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of
Signior Leonato?

BENEDICK I noted her not, but I looked on her. 160

CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady?

BENEDICK Do you question me as an honest man
should do, for my simple true judgment? Or would
you have me speak after my custom, as being a
professed tyrant to their sex? 165

CLAUDIO No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment.

BENEDICK Why, i’ faith, methinks she’s too low for a
high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too
little for a great praise. Only this commendation I
can afford her, that were she other than she is, she 170
were unhandsome, and being no other but as she is,
I do not like her.

CLAUDIO Thou thinkest I am in sport. I pray thee tell
me truly how thou lik’st her.

BENEDICK Would you buy her that you enquire after 175
her?

CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel?

BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you
this with a sad brow? Or do you play the flouting
jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and 180Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a
man take you to go in the song?

CLAUDIO In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever
I looked on.

BENEDICK I can see yet without spectacles, and I see 185
no such matter. There’s her cousin, an she were not
possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in
beauty as the first of May doth the last of December.
But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have
you? 190

CLAUDIO I would scarce trust myself, though I had
sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

BENEDICK Is ’t come to this? In faith, hath not the
world one man but he will wear his cap with
suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore 195
again? Go to, i’ faith, an thou wilt needs thrust
thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh
away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek
you.

Benedick is left alone with Claudio as the others wander off, led by Leonato and Don Pedro.

The young Claudio reveals that he’s been smitten by Leonato’s daughter, Hero.

Benedick, ever full of taunts, wonders that Claudio could be so bent on marriage, and with Hero, to boot.

His eyes are fine, he says, and he doesn't find her attractive. In fact, Benedick thinks Hero’s cousin, Beatrice, is wading around in the more attractive end of the gene pool.

Enter Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon.

PRINCE What secret hath held you here that you followed 200
not to Leonato’s?

BENEDICK I would your Grace would constrain me to
tell.

PRINCE I charge thee on thy allegiance.

BENEDICK You hear, Count Claudio, I can be secret as 205
a dumb man, I would have you think so, but on my
allegiance—mark you this, on my allegiance—he
is in love. With who? Now, that is your Grace’s part.
Mark how short his answer is: with Hero, Leonato’s
short daughter. 210

CLAUDIO If this were so, so were it uttered.

BENEDICK Like the old tale, my lord: “It is not so, nor
’twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be
so.”

CLAUDIO If my passion change not shortly, God forbid 215
it should be otherwise.

PRINCE Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well
worthy.

CLAUDIO You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

PRINCE By my troth, I speak my thought. 220

CLAUDIO And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

BENEDICK And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I
spoke mine.

CLAUDIO That I love her, I feel.

PRINCE That she is worthy, I know. 225

BENEDICK That I neither feel how she should be loved
nor know how she should be worthy is the opinion
that fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the
stake.

PRINCE Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the 230
despite of beauty.

CLAUDIO And never could maintain his part but in the
force of his will.

BENEDICK That a woman conceived me, I thank her;
that she brought me up, I likewise give her most 235
humble thanks. But that I will have a recheat
winded in my forehead or hang my bugle in an
invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me.
Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust
any, I will do myself the right to trust none. And the 240
fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a
bachelor.

The Prince (Don Pedro) then returns, wondering what secret Claudio and Benedick have been sharing.

Benedick, entrusted with the knowledge of Claudio’s secret crush, immediately reveals to the Prince that Claudio has fallen for the Hero. Benedick thinks Hero is short.

The Prince thinks Claudio's interest in Hero is wonderful news, but Benedick takes the love-declaration as another chance to rail on women.

Benedick says he’s grateful to his mother for giving birth to him and raising him. Since he’s not a complete woman-hater, he’d never want to hurt a woman by distrusting her. Therefore he’ll never get into a relationship with a women where trust is required (i.e., marriage...or pretty much any other relationship apart from nemesis).

PRINCE I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

BENEDICK With anger, with sickness, or with hunger,
my lord, not with love. Prove that ever I lose more 245
blood with love than I will get again with drinking,
pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker’s pen and
hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the
sign of blind Cupid.

PRINCE Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou 250
wilt prove a notable argument.

BENEDICK If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and
shoot at me, and he that hits me, let him be clapped
on the shoulder and called Adam.

PRINCE Well, as time shall try. 255
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.

BENEDICK The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible
Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set
them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted,
and in such great letters as they write “Here is good 260
horse to hire” let them signify under my sign “Here
you may see Benedick the married man.”

CLAUDIO If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be
horn-mad.

PRINCE Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in 265
Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.

BENEDICK I look for an earthquake too, then.

PRINCE Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the
meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato’s.
Commend me to him, and tell him I will not 270
fail him at supper, for indeed he hath made great
preparation.

BENEDICK I have almost matter enough in me for such
an embassage, and so I commit you—

CLAUDIO To the tuition of God. From my house, if I had 275
it—

PRINCE The sixth of July. Your loving friend,
Benedick.

BENEDICK Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your
discourse is sometimes guarded with fragments, 280
and the guards are but slightly basted on neither.
Ere you flout old ends any further, examine your
conscience. And so I leave you.

He exits.

The Prince is certain that before he dies, Benedick will be pale with love, but Benedick quibbles. He says he’ll be made pale by anger, sickness, or hunger, but never by love.

In Shakespeare’s day, people thought that sighs of love made a person lose blood, while alcohol increased the blood supply. Benedick says if he should ever lose more blood from love than he could get again by drinking, then the Prince can poke out his eyes with a lovesick poet’s pen and hang him up as a blind Cupid sign outside of a brothel (these often used the symbol of a blind Cupid as advertisement).

Benedick goes on some more about how he’ll never wear cuckold’s horns. (Cuckolds are men whose wives cheated on them. They were symbolized by wearing horns, and while this doesn’t make a lot of sense in the modern day, it was the closest thing those guys had to the idea of someone "being whipped".)

The Prince promises Benedick will eat his words and fall in love after all, unless Cupid is too busy in Venice. (Venetians were known to love visiting brothels.)

Then he dismisses the prattling Benedick.

CLAUDIO
My liege, your Highness now may do me good.

PRINCE
My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how, 285
And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

CLAUDIO
Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

PRINCE
No child but Hero; she’s his only heir.
Dost thou affect her, Claudio? 290

CLAUDIO O, my lord,
When you went onward on this ended action,
I looked upon her with a soldier’s eye,
That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive liking to the name of love. 295
But now I am returned and that war thoughts
Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
Saying I liked her ere I went to wars. 300

PRINCE
Thou wilt be like a lover presently
And tire the hearer with a book of words.
If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
And I will break with her and with her father,
And thou shalt have her. Was ’t not to this end 305
That thou began’st to twist so fine a story?

CLAUDIO
How sweetly you do minister to love,
That know love’s grief by his complexion!
But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
I would have salved it with a longer treatise. 310

PRINCE
What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
The fairest grant is the necessity.
Look what will serve is fit. ’Tis once, thou lovest,
And I will fit thee with the remedy.
I know we shall have reveling tonight. 315
I will assume thy part in some disguise
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,
And in her bosom I’ll unclasp my heart
And take her hearing prisoner with the force
And strong encounter of my amorous tale. 320
Then after to her father will I break,
And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.
In practice let us put it presently.

They exit.

With Benedick gone, Claudio can speak earnestly with Prince Don Pedro, who, unlike Benedick, doesn’t use Claudio’s crush to mock and belittle him.

Claudio seems nervous about revealing his love of Hero, but the Prince can help him out here, so he comes clean.

Claudio admits he noticed Hero before he went off to war, but at the time, the upcoming battle was a higher priority than love. Now that he’s back, thoughts of love have replaced his bloodlust.

Still, Claudio worries that if he begins to woo her, it will seem like he fell in love too quickly and she might not take him seriously.

The Prince tells Claudio not to worry. He (the Prince, Don Pedro) will talk to both Hero and Leonato for him.

In fact, there’s a masquerade ball planned for that very night, and the Prince says he'll dress up as Claudio and woo Hero for him.

Great idea. Nothing could go wrong with that.

Much Ado About Nothing: Act 1, Scene 1 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 1, Scene 1 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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