Much Ado About Nothing: Act 4, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 4, Scene 2 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter the Constables Dogberry and Verges, and the Town Clerk, or Sexton, in gowns, with the Watch, Conrade, and Borachio. DOGBERRY Is our whole dissembly appeared? VERGES O, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton. A stool is brought in; the Sexton sits. SEXTON Which be the malefactors? DOGBERRY Marry, that am I, and my partner. VERGES Nay, that’s certain, we have the exhibition to 5 examine. SEXTON But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let them come before Master Constable. DOGBERRY Yea, marry, let them come before me. 10 Conrade and Borachio are brought forward. What is your name, friend? BORACHIO Borachio. DOGBERRY Pray, write down “Borachio.”—Yours, sirrah? CONRADE I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is 15 Conrade. DOGBERRY Write down “Master Gentleman Conrade.”— Masters, do you serve God? BORACHIO/CONRADE Yea, sir, we hope. DOGBERRY Write down that they hope they serve 20 God; and write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains!—Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? 25 CONRADE Marry, sir, we say we are none. DOGBERRY A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about with him.—Come you hither, sirrah, a word in your ear. Sir, I say to you it is thought you are false knaves. 30 BORACHIO Sir, I say to you we are none.	At the prison, Dogberry and Verges, along with a sexton (who will take notes on the interrogation) prepare to examine Borachio and Conrade. Dogberry does his usual mangling of the English language, and finally gets out that Borachio and Conrade stand accused of being "false knaves," though they deny it.
DOGBERRY Well, stand aside.—’Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down that they are none? SEXTON Master constable, you go not the way to 35 examine. You must call forth the watch that are their accusers. DOGBERRY Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way.—Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince’s name, accuse these men. 40 FIRST WATCHMAN This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was a villain. DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain! BORACHIO Master constable— 45 DOGBERRY Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise thee. SEXTON, to Watch What heard you him say else? SEACOAL Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero 50 wrongfully. DOGBERRY Flat burglary as ever was committed. VERGES Yea, by Mass, that it is. SEXTON What else, fellow? FIRST WATCHMAN And that Count Claudio did mean, 55 upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. DOGBERRY, to Borachio O, villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this! SEXTON What else? 60 SEACOAL This is all.	The watchmen are called in to make their accusations, and they present it in three parts, which Dogberry doesn’t quite understand, and mistakes the importance of. The First Watchman says Borachio and Conrade have called the Prince's brother, Don John, a villain. Dogberry assumes the crime in this is perjury, since it must be a lie. Seacoal says that Borachio has received a thousand ducats from Don John for wrongfully slandering Hero. Dogberry misses the "wrongfully accusing Hero" part, and decides the crime here is burglary. Finally, the First Watchman declares that because of the wrongful accusation against Hero, Claudio intended to disgrace the girl before the wedding party, and refuse to marry her. Dogberry gets this, but he condemns the knaves to "everlasting redemption" when what he means is "everlasting damnation."
SEXTON And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away. Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly 65 died.—Master constable, let these men be bound and brought to Leonato’s. I will go before and show him their examination. He exits. DOGBERRY Come, let them be opinioned. VERGES Let them be in the hands— 70 CONRADE Off, coxcomb! DOGBERRY God’s my life, where’s the Sexton? Let him write down the Prince’s officer “coxcomb.” Come, bind them.—Thou naughty varlet! CONRADE Away! You are an ass, you are an ass! 75 DOGBERRY Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou 80 art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow and, which is more, an officer and, which is more, a householder and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to, and a 85 rich fellow enough, go to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him.—Bring him away.—O, that I had been writ down an ass! They exit.