How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
I kept my eyes away from the house we had searched. Over and over I told myself that the kid had used the rocket launcher, that he tried to kill Americans. Maybe even had already killed Americans, and he was the enemy. In a way I was cool with that. In my head I could deal with his being dead. But it had all happened so quickly. One moment he was alive and he was scared, as I was scared with him and for him. And then he was dead. (5.19)
Birdy is trying to justify the army shooting the kid in his head, but he can't manage to do it. Seeing the kid die was too hard to use logic about it.
Quote #2
I wanted to talk to him so bad. There wasn't anything special I wanted to say, just that I thought what he wanted for me was okay. Maybe that I loved him. I took out my pen and started to write a note to myself to tell my parents that I loved them. It was BS. The part about reminding myself. (5.121)
Not only does Birdy feel awful about disappointing his dad, he feels guilty for not telling his parents he loves them enough. His mind is having a total guilt-fest.
Quote #3
I don't know how much money we gave them. It looked like a couple of thousand dollars. I didn't feel good about it. Everything the Iraqis were saying was right. We couldn't buy an end to their grieving, or an end to their missing their kids. (6.90)
Birdy's guilt for being a part of the unit that gave Iraqis money for killing their kids is pretty understandable. Money can't bring the kids back.
Quote #4
"You know, Miller, I bet those guys flying that mission that day are as sorry about what happened as you are," Coles said. "Nobody wants to kill innocent people."
"I don't think so either." Miller pushed a strand of hair away from her face. "But we learn to let ourselves off the hook pretty fast when we do, don't we?" (6.97-98)
Both Miller and Coles have a point. Neither of them believes the Air Force was happy about accidentally bombing civilians, but Miller thinks they justify it too easily when lives are being lost.
Quote #5
Seeing the wounded kids made me feel like crap. This wasn't what the whole thing was supposed to be about. It wasn't what I wanted in my life, but I knew I didn't have a choice. (6.225)
Birdy has no control in this war. He has to do whatever he's assigned. Even if what he sees makes him question everything about what he's signed up for.
Quote #6
Captain Miller asked again if there was anything we could do and Halima asked if we had any toothpaste. We didn't but Miller said we would get her some.
"Since the bombing began, it's become such a luxury to brush your teeth," Halima said. "I feel guilty just thinking about it. (9.91-92)
It's a guilt circle in Halima's house. Miller feels guilty and inadequate in apologizing for the loss of villager's lives. Halima feels guilty asking for basic necessities amid the grief of the village.
Quote #7
It all looked good on paper, but I knew that Miller would have trouble with it. I was beginning to see where she was coming from. She didn't have easy answers, but she didn't need them. (9.107)
Birdy feels guilty about Coles' report that Halima's people could be considered enemies. It's true that they were planning to shoot at Americans, but the situation is more complicated than enemies and allies. Was having the truck carrying their men bombed in front of all the village children really justified?
Quote #8
But I felt good as we undressed and fell across the bed. I hadn't been shot at, and the First Squad had found the detonators. Maybe we had even saved some lives. But then I started thinking about the Iraqi women, one crying and one rocking the baby. I remembered how bad I had felt for them, only to find out that they were in a family that probably would have killed me if they had the chance. (10.109)
The relationship setting for this war is always "it's complicated." Birdy had felt guilty for interrupting people's lives, when they were hiding detonators that would kill Americans. Even knowing that doesn't completely take the guilt away.
Quote #9
Later, as I lay in the darkness, I thought about Pendleton's two little girls. How he had talked about sending them to college. I hadn't even looked at their pictures when he was showing them around. Oh, God, why hadn't I looked at the pictures? (12.182)
It probably didn't mean too much to Pendleton that Birdy didn't look at the pictures. But now that Birdy feels guilty that he's alive and Pendleton isn't, that one incident means a lot to him.
Quote #10
The leg looked different, raw and ugly, as if it was something other than a leg. I was ashamed of the fact that it hurt so much and that I could still feel the pain when Jonesy couldn't. (15.11)
You don't need to look up survivor's guilt—this is it. Birdy's leg wound is no little scratch, but all he can think about is how Jonesy should be alive.