The Big Winner
- Peter Hatcher (the narrator) crushes it at a jellybean number guessing game at his friend Jimmy Fargo's birthday party, and consequently wins a pet turtle that he names Dribble.
- He walks home to his apartment, and immediately shows off his turtle to his mother. Unfortunately, she's not so impressed and just says that the turtle smells bad. Classic mom move.
- Peter assures her that he'll take care of Dribble, and make sure that he's fed, clean, and happy. Then he scrubs his hands before dinner, after his mother complains that she can still smell turtle on him.
- As nitpicky as his mother is, though, she's not Peter's biggest problem. Neither is his father, who makes commercials for a living.
- No, Peter's biggest issue is his little brother: a spunky (that's an understatement) two-and-a-half year old whose real name is Farley Drexel, but who everyone calls "Fudge." He can't stand his real name.
- Fudge doesn't understand personal boundaries, and he's always in the way. Peter totally knows as soon as Fudge shows up that he's going to try to mess with Dribble the turtle.
- When Peter tells him not to touch the turtle, Fudge laughs and laughs. That's never a good sign.