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Bell Curve


Dead Deliveryman. Salary: $17,000 

Those flowers for the Morgan wedding were so late that they arrived just in time for the golden anniversary. It's a good thing that you know how to arrange flowers for funerals, because your job is dead.


Accident Waiting to Happen. Salary: $20,000 

"With Deepest Sympathy" cards were not meant for the flowers for the Cleary wedding. "Congratulations" did not work so well for the Wong funeral, either. It's a good thing your arrangements looked so pretty that no one even noticed the cards. Close one.


Retail Royalty. Salary: $24,000 

Plenty of Easter lilies sold last Easter. Plenty of poinsettias sold last Christmas. Plenty of Dutch irises sold last Squirrel Appreciation Day...though no one can really explain how you did it. You'll probably sell just as many saguaro cactus flowers on Corn on the Cob Day. Your employer likes what he sees.


Avid Arranger. Salary: $36,000 

Who needs all these silly holidays? You can make up new holidays as you go. Besides, people don't need excuses to come from miles around to buy flowers and flower arrangements from you. Your employer is planning a long vacation, but isn't planning to come back. Doesn't that qualify as retirement?


The Rembrandt of Roses. Salary: $40,000 

The Netherlands is forced to outsource to grow enough flowers for your several floral design studios. Your designs are as revered as the sculptures of Rodin...they just don't last as long. Revenue is great, work is fun, and everything is coming up roses. Ah, the sweet smell of...chrysanthemums. You never much liked the smell of roses.