- When the boys wake up the next morning, a note from Hollis is waiting for them. It says their interview with Starnes was good, but too long if they ask everyone those questions.
- Instead, she wants the boys to ask just 4 questions: (1) Where would you live if you could live anywhere? (2) What would you do for a living if you didn't work for the factory? (3) When did your people come to the country? (4) What do you think makes Gutshot special? It's as simple as that.
- They head off to the Gutshot textiles factory with Lindsey and meet up with an employee named Zeke, who tells them about his life and how he likes the free Coke machine. Shmoop loves a cold Coke too, but we're not sure that qualifies as the most special thing in our lives.
- After the interview with Zeke, Lindsey heads on over to the store to hook up with TOC, while the boys stayed behind to interview twenty-six other people at the factory, asking the same four questions over and over.
- One lady asks Colin why the shower curtain always blows inside while she's in the shower; he explains the vortex to her and she's all impressed.
- He asks her name, and she says Katherine Layne. Right away, Hassan knows he's in for a ride with Colin's obsessions with Katherine, but Colin doesn't feel anything—he's still hung up on K-19. Phew?
- After the boys leave the factory, Colin decides to call K-19. Hassan thinks it's not such a good idea, but Colin doesn't listen and calls anyway.
- He leaves a sappy message for K-19, reminiscing about the good-old days.
- Then he gets a call—it's coming from K-19 and he's psyched. Turns out she hasn't listened to the message though, and instead is calling back to let him know that she thinks they should keep their distance from each other for a while. Colin is crushed.
- He lets us in on a secret: he doesn't miss K-19 as much as he misses what he thought they would have in the future together. He misses that.
- Colin tells Lindsey and Hassan he wants to cry and let it all out, but he's afraid it'll sounds like a "bulldog's mating call." No really—he actually says that, and everyone laughs.
- Back at home, Colin works on the theorem until 11:00PM, and then he asks Lindsey if she has a match so he can burn his work.
- Wait, what?
- That's right, he wants to burn his work because he thinks it makes him look like a genius.
- Katherine asks him about the theorem and he explains the concept to her. Step 1: Figure out if someone is a dumper or dumpee. Step 2: Plug that into the formula. Step 3: Determine how long the relationship will be.
- There's only one problem—the theorem doesn't really work. Lindsey thinks it's cool all the same though.