How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
Talking with Dad can go two ways. One, he knows you don't understand what he's talking about and he is disappointed in you. Two, he doesn't know and so keeps on talking, which gives you a chance to figure it out. (3.26)
No wonder Ellen and Link see their father as such an intimidating figure. Dad takes his role as educator/child-shaper so seriously that he's lost any ability to convey affection. So much for light, friendly banter amongst family.
Quote #5
"Do you think Link's gay?" Mom says. "Is that what you want to know?"
She has stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. She almost never breaks her stride. When we were little we could never get her to stop.
"I don't know," I say. "I just wondered."
"I see," she says. "Have you asked him?"
"No," I say, annoyed that she is trying to dodge my question. "Have you?"
"No," she says. "I haven't. Do you want to talk about this?"
I nod. Sure, of course.
(5.6-12)
At least Mom is willing to talk about things directly. Everyone else in the family prefers a passive-aggressive, need-to-know-basis type of communication, which is not particularly effective when it comes to these kinds of issues.
Quote #6
"Would you care if they were?" I ask.
"No. I care that Link's happy. Your father, on the other hand, cares very much. It's one of many reasons that I have never broached the subject with Link."
[…]
"Has Dad asked Link?"
"No, of course not," Mom says. "Your father has many wonderful qualities. Direct discourse is not one of them." (5.17-21)
Wow. So many problems, where do we start? Mom is in a position to be a major advocate for Link, but instead she avoids the issue, leaving him isolated and in the lurch. If she knows that Dad won't talk to Link about it, why doesn't she? Even in secret? And we're not even going to get started about what it must be like to be married to someone you can't talk to about these serious matters…