- In this chapter, Sam imagines that we—the readers—are asking him a bunch of questions about how things turned out instead of just telling us the rest of the story.
- First question: What about your mum's baby? How did all that turn out?
- Sam explains that Emily was born in the same hospital as Roof and met her nephew the day she was born.
- While Mark was busy cracking jokes, Sam's mom set the record straight.
- Yes, Emily is an aunt as a baby, but that's life. This is a family, and everybody can just get over it. End of story.
- Next up: That day in the future when you took Roof for his injections… Was there really a day like that?
- It turns out, even knowing the future, Sam messed some of it up.
- Roof didn't get his shot that day because Sam made the mistake of telling his son it wouldn't hurt.
- Naturally, Roof freaked out. Why would his dad say that unless something would hurt? They left without the shot before they made more of a scene.
- Sam tried the college thing, but quit halfway through. He hopes Roof can get further than he did.
- When the question about Alicia comes up, it's not so simple to answer.
- Sam tells us that sometimes he feels like Alicia picks fights with him for no reason, so he steers clear of her.
- Then they'll take Roof to the park together and have a great time. It's confusing to know where they are.
- Sometimes Sam thinks about hooking up with another girl, but he's too scared. He can't imagine what would happen if he knocked up another chick, too. It's just not worth the hassle.
- One day, Alicia asks him if he wants to try a relationship again. He's not so sure.
- They fought a lot, but Alicia thinks things are different now that Roof isn't a baby anymore.
- So they sleep together. It would have been fine except Andrea walks in on them doing the deed and everyone has to talk about their feelings.
- It's clear Andrea and Robert aren't pleased that Sam and Alicia are always on-again, off-again.
- He's heard all this before, but this time there's something new added to the mix: Sam realizes Andrea is so upset at Alicia for getting together with Sam because she thinks her daughter is settling for him—and that's exactly what Andrea did with Robert. Yikes.
- This is clearly really awkward for everyone, and nothing really gets resolved.
- Sam thinks about how he would rate his life now. He gives himself an eight out of ten overall.