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Bell Curve


You are the PA for Miles Gardner, an angry comic who thinks he's more famous than he really is. Great—so you don't make much money and you're especially abused. Welcome to Hollywood.


You have a new gig working for an actress who's fairly new on the scene but has a recurring role on a well-known television program. It's nice to be getting a regular paycheck, but you're starting to regret that you looked for work under "Divas Hiring" on Craigslist.


You've been the PA to a popular character actor for years; he's nice enough, but very demanding. Your life is not your own. Which isn't the worst thing, because your life was never all that interesting or wonderful in the first place.


You are the PA to one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. We're not naming names, but she's been successful in music and in movies, she has a huge cult following, and she's been around so long that it’s hard to remember "The Way She Was." You make gobs of money, but you pay for it in absolute misery.


You're the PA for a star who is equally as famous, but minus the reputation of being egocentric or stuck-up. In fact, he's a genuinely wonderful human being and you don't know how you got so lucky. For a Christmas bonus, he gave you a house. And a producer credit on his next film. Think: Turtle.