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Qualifications

Obviously you would have gone to a four-year University that has a Greek system. You then would have had to go through the arduous process of a three-day recruitment where your feet are about to fall off and your cheeks are frozen in a perpetual smile. You would then have had to be asked to join a specific sorority, accept, start the pledge process, become initiated, and attend secret Sunday meetings every week where everyone dresses in black and chants in unison. It's not Waco so it must be legitimate.

After this you would have had to become completely invested in your Greek life experience. You must go to every meeting, every formal, and every philanthropy event. You also would have needed to become extra involved by accepting a position on your sorority's personal chapter management team. If you're really serious it's probably wise to become the chapter President. By wise we mean you must do this.

After everything you must accomplish while still in school, you must then graduate, and immediately join an alumni group at the ripe age of 22. You can also start immediately applying for a job as a Collegiate Leadership Consultant (CLC). Being a recent college graduate herself, a CLC goes across the nation visiting different sorority chapters. She makes sure that everyone is partying to the best of their ability, but doing it in secret so that nobody knows of their many indiscretions. She also gets a bunch of free stuff and goes to Disneyland! Unfortunately these jobs are extremely competitive, and hard to get, but if you do manage it you are well on your way to becoming a member of the National Panhellenic Conference.

Luckily for you it takes years of being a member before you are remotely thought of for this job, so you'll probably be around 50 before you're even considered for this position.

You also have to be a woman.

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