- On a Saturday night at the end of June, Woodrow and Gypsy finally have their little get-together. A boy from their class named Buzz who is a bully insists on sitting on the only stump, and Woodrow tells him to go ahead.
- Buzz tells a long, obviously untrue story about how his aunt found a human finger in a can of tomatoes. They've all heard this one before.
- Then Woodrow tells a story about how his Aunt Millie was on her deathbed during a super cold winter and died. They buried her the next day and lined her coffin will nice, soft quilts.
- That night, though, they heard her voice calling to them, saying that she was so cold, and when they opened the door Aunt Millie was standing there covered in blood.
- They rushed her inside and warmed her up and realized that what happened is that someone saw the diamond ring on her finger at the funeral service and thought that they'd dig her up later and take the ring.
- The ring was on too tight, though, so they cut her finger off, and that's when Aunt Millie woke up and scared the thieves. They ran away screaming, and Aunt Millie crawled back home. She was never dead to begin with, and they'd accidentally buried her alive.
- Buzz wants to tell another story but everyone starts making jokes and talking over him, so he gets mad at all the attention that Woodrow is getting. That's when he yells out to ask if Woodrow's mother was cross-eyed, too.
- Woodrow doesn't take the bait, though. He tells Buzz that his mother wasn't cross-eyed, and that when they were giving out looks he thought they said books and said, "Give me a funny one!"
- That just makes everyone else start laughing again and making jokes.
- After everyone else leaves, Gypsy tells Woodrow that she's sorry about what Buzz said, but he says he doesn't care. Plus the stump that Buzz sat on was apparently infested by chiggers, so he'll be suffering for a while.