- The next day is the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Professor Umbridge. Oh, joy.
- She explains to the class that this is the year they'll be taking their O.W.L. exams and then she passes out their textbooks.
- Hermione mentions that the books don't actually include any info about defensive spells. That might be useful if they ever actually need to fight off anyone.
- Nope, says Professor Umbridge, you just need to know the theory behind the spells to pass your exams.
- Harry is pretty annoyed and lets her know it. If they get attacked out in the street, they won't be able to rely on theories to defend themselves. They'll need to actually know magic, won't they?
- Now who would want to attack children? Professor Umbridge asks a little too innocently.
- Um, gee, maybe Voldemort, Harry says.
- Professor Umbridge is not amused. She tells the class that Harry is a big fat liar and that Voldemort has most definitely not returned. When Harry refuses to back down, she gives him detention.
- All in all, it's not a great first day of school.