The Alchemist Act 5, Scene 5 Summary

  • When the scene opens, Lovewit's at his house wearing a Spanish count get-up. We find out that he's just gotten hitched to Dame Pliant, who, apparently, thinks she's just become a Spanish countess.
  • Mammon and Surly show up with the cops and demand to be let into the house.
  • Lovewit takes off his Spanish disguise and opens the door. Mammon and Surly burst in, followed closely by Kastril, Ananias, Tribulation, and the cops.
  • Lovewit knows what his butler has been up to but he denies knowing anything.
  • Mammon wants all his money and metal goods back but Lovewit tells him he'll have to take him to court if he wants his stuff.
  • Mammon decides to just go home because he doesn't want to look like a total chump in open court.
  • Next, Lovewit tosses out Ananias and Tribulation and then deals with Kastril.
  • Kastril's furious that Lovewit married his sister without his permission but Lovewit puts the kid in his place in about four seconds.
  • Kastril gives his new brother-in-law props for his insult skills and quickly backs down.
  • Now that that's all settled, Kastril and Dame Pliant go off to have a "wiff" of tobacco together.
  • Lovewit turns to the audience and says that he's super happy with his clever butler and his hot, young wife.
  • Then Face/Jeremy the Butler addresses the audience. He talks to us as though we are a kind of jury and says we have to judge the play and the characters in it as if the theater were a court of law.