Paul is Gay
- Paul tells us about the first time he knew he was gay: it was elementary school.
- His kindergarten teacher Mrs. Benchly wrote on his report card that he had a very good sense of self, and added, "PAUL IS DEFINITELY GAY."
- Paul went through the other report cards on her desk and found that none of the other boys were DEFINITELY GAY, but none of them had a good sense of self either.
- Confused about what gay meant, he asked Mrs. Benchly, who asked him if he'd ever noticed most marriages were made up of a man and a woman.
- Paul said he thought that was just another adult quirk, like flossing.
- Mrs. Benchly explains that for Paul, being gay is right, just like for straight people, being straight is right.
- That night, five-year-old Paul announces to his parents that he's gay. His mom tells his dad their son has learned a new word. Way to take things in stride, Paul's parents.
- When he was seven, Paul came out to Joni, out of necessity. They were playing under his bed and she tried to kiss him.
- Joni is also cool with it, and the following year she helps him run for third-grade class president as the first openly gay candidate. His campaign slogan was, "VOTE FOR ME… I'M GAY!"
- His opponent, Ted Halpern (a.k.a. Joni's eventual Ted), chose as his campaign slogan, "DON'T VOTE FOR THE F**." Ted lost.
- The next day, Cody O'Brien flirts with Paul at lunch. They become boyfriends, but break up before the fifth-grade semi-formal dance because of a fight over a Nintendo cartridge. Fortunately, it's an amicable breakup.
- In sixth grade, Paul, Cody, and Joni form the school's first gay/straight alliance.
- In eighth grade, Paul gets tackled by two high-school wrestlers after a screening of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. They hurl gay slurs at him, but fortunately he's gone to the movies with some members of the fencing team, who pull out their foils and chase the wrestlers away.
- In short, Paul's life has always been pretty uncomplicated, but Noah has just complicated things for the first time.