Boy Meets Boy Theme of Family

Okay, so let's talk about Tony. Levithan's inspiration for the character was his best friend's other best friend, who grew up in a religious household with homophobic parents. Around the same time he heard the guy's story, Levithan was obsessed with Patty Griffin's song "Tony," about the suicide of a gay boy—thus the tragic, lovable Tony of Boy Meets Boy was born.

Watching him deal with his parents is a painful undercurrent of an otherwise lighthearted book. Levithan gives us a reminder that even in a world as accepting as Paul's, being gay still carries a stigma, and sometimes that stigma comes from your own family. It's the author's way of saying, we've come so far, but some of us still fight the war at home.

Questions About Family

  1. Why doesn't Tony's mother come and hold him when she sees Paul holding him? 
  2. There's a scene in Boy Meets Boy in which Joni's mom says she's missed Paul, and one in which Paul's mom says she's missed Tony. How do you think his mom's refusal to welcome or even get to know his friends affects Tony? 
  3. Will Tony have to hide his friendship with Kyle from his parents? 
  4. Why do we see the moms interacting with Paul, Tony, and Joni, but not the dads?

Chew on This

Try on an opinion or two, start a debate, or play the devil’s advocate.

If Tony's mom doesn't get to know Tony's friends, she doesn't have to get to know their parents. If she doesn't have to be part of that village it supposedly takes to raise a child, she doesn't have to consider different ideas about how to raise a child.

We don't see Joni's dad or learn anything about him. Just speculating here, but sometimes girls with absent fathers pick controlling or otherwise lousy boyfriends. How your parents treat you affects the people you choose to date.