How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #7
Something rose inside me, so strange that at first I didn't recognize it, although I have experienced a duller, overriding version of it almost every moment of my existence. It lurched in my body like a jagged yet leaden rock, shot through with regret and loneliness and lost chances. I had never felt it myself, only through others. (12.117)
Check out how Kiriel describes the experience of feeling guilt—with all the jagged and lurching rocks, it's not a pleasant experience. We'd like to point out that the actual experience of feeling guilt is far worse that just seeing someone else go through it, though, which Kiriel finally understands, too.
Quote #8
I put the photos down and turned away. I didn't want to feel grief for the loss of Shaun. Didn't want to feel guilt. Of all beings, I knew how pointless it was. Shaun would have died whether I'd stepped in or not. Those last moments I took from him would have been filled with either pain or nothingness. (12.118)
When Shaun's bro and friend are playing video games and he sees pictures of Shaun with his buddy, Kiriel feels a pang of guilt. Suddenly, he realizes he's taken someone away from people. Sure, Shaun would have died anyway, but no one else knows that. It's one of the only times we see Kiriel actually feeling remorse over his actions.
Quote #9
Maybe it was a cosmic joke that we'd been making ourselves miserable all this time. Maybe the Creator never really cared about transgressions. Or rebellions. (20.62)
It might be that the Creator doesn't care, but maybe Kiriel just wants to tell himself that so he doesn't have to go through the agony of feeling guilt again. It seems like he's trying to rationalize his actions to himself again instead of facing the music for what he's done.