Will Grayson, Will Grayson Coming of Age Quotes

When I was little, my dad used to tell me, "Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose." This seemed like a reasonably astute observation to me when I was eight, but it turns out to be incorrect on a few levels. To begin with, you cannot possibly pick your friends, or else I never would have ended up with Tiny Cooper.

Tiny Cooper is not the world's gayest person, and he is not the world's largest person, but I believe he may be the world's largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world's gayest person who is really, really large. Tiny has been my best friend since fifth grade, except for all last semester, when he was busy discovering the sheer scope of his own gayness. (1.1-2)

isaac's still not on when i get back. he's the only person on my "buddy list," which is the stupidest f***ing name for a list. what are we, three years old?

me: hey, isaac, wanna be my buddy!?
isaac: sure, buddy! let's go fishin'! (2.39-40)

this is dangerous because as a rule i don't let myself wish for things. too many times when i was a kid, i would put my hands together or squinch my eyes shut and i would devote myself fully to hoping for something. i even thought that there were some places in my room that were better for wishing than others—under the bed was okay, but on the bed wasn't; the bottom of the closet would do, as long as my shoebox of baseball cards was in my lap. never, ever at my desk, but always with the sock drawer open. nobody had told me these rules—i'd figured them out for myself. i could spend hours setting up a particular wish—and every single time, i'd be met with a resounding wall of complete indifference. whether it was for a pet hamster or for my mom to stop crying—the sock drawer would be open and i would be sitting behind my toy chest with three action figures in one hand and a matchbox car in the other. i never hoped for everything to get better—only for one thing to get better. and it never did. so eventually i gave up. i give up every single day.

but not with isaac. it scares me sometimes. wishing it to work. (2.73-74)

We get outside onto the street, the cold a permanent surprise. Jane takes off
running ahead of me and I don't know whether I'm supposed to follow her or not, but then she turns around toward me and starts skipping backward. The wind in her face, I can barely hear her shout, "Come on, Will! Skip! After all, you're a man now."

And I'll be damned if I don't start skipping after her. (3.118-119)

i can't help thinking that "getting a life" is something only a complete idiot could believe. like you can just drive to a store and get a life. see it in its shiny box and look inside the plastic window and catch a glimpse of yourself in a new life and say, "wow, i look much happier—i think this is the life i need to get!" take it to the counter, ring it up, put it on your credit card. if getting a life was that easy, we'd be one blissed-out race. but we're not. so it's like, mom, your life isn't out there waiting, so don't think all you have to do is find it and get it. no, your life is right here. and, yeah, it sucks. lives usually do. so if you want things to change, you don't need to get a life. you need to get off your ass.

of course i don't say any of these things to her. moms don't need to hear that kind of s*** from their kids. (4.48-49)

As I'm talking to [Jane], some small cut inside me feels unstitched. I thought it would be Tiny at the door, brimming with apologies I would slowly accept. But such is life. We grow up. Planets like Tiny get new moons. Moons like me get new planets. (15.60)

I put my hands on her shoulders. "I just realized something. I really really like you. You're amazing, and I so want to be your boyfriend, because of what you just said, and also because that shirt makes me want to take you home now and do unspeakable things while we watch live-action Sailor Moon videos. But but but you're totally right about saying the honest thing. I think if you keep the box closed long enough you do kill the cat, actually. And—God, I hope you won't take this personally—but I love my best friend more than anyone in the world."

She's looking at me now, squinting confusion.

"I do. I f***ing love Tiny Cooper."

Jane says, "Um, okay. Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, or are you telling me
that you're gay?"

"The first one. The girlfriend one. I gotta go find Tiny."

I stand up and kiss her on the zigzag and then bolt. (17.39-44)

willupleasebequiet: i just wish it wasn't all trial and error.
willupleasebequiet: because that's what it is, isn't it?
willupleasebequiet: trial and error.
willupleasebequiet: i guess there's a reason they don't call it "trial and success"
willupleasebequiet: it's just try-error
willupleasebequiet: try-error
willupleasebequiet: try-error

willupleasebequiet: i'm sorry. are you still here?
WGrayson7: yes.
WGrayson7: if you'd caught me two weeks ago, i would have had to agree with you fullheartedly.
WGrayson7: now i'm not so sure.
willupleasebequiet: why?
WGrayson7: well, i agree that "trial and error" is a pretty pessimistic name for it. and maybe that's what it is most of the time.
WGrayson7: but i think the point is that it's not just try-error.
WGrayson7: most of the time it's try-error-try
WGrayson7: try-error-try
WGrayson7: try-error-try
WGrayson7: and that's how you find it.
willupleasebequiet: it?
WGrayson7: you know. it.
willupleasebequiet: yeah, it.
willupleasebequiet: try-error-try-it
WGrayson7: well... i haven't become that optimistic.
WGrayson7: it's more like try-error-try-error-try-error-try-error-try-error-try... at least fifteen more rounds... then try-error-try-it (18.28)

me: i'm sorry, maura.
maura: i'm sorry, too.

this is why we call people exes, i guess—because the paths that cross in the middle end up separating at the end. it's too easy to see an X as a cross-out. it's not, because there's no way to cross out something like that. the X is a diagram of two paths.

i hear a honk and turn to see gideon pulling up in his mom's car.

me: i gotta go.
maura: so go. (18.69-72)

i know we should go back to the play. but there's something i want to ask him, now that he's in front of me.

me: can i ask you something personal, will grayson to will grayson?
o.w.g.: um... sure.
me: do you feel things are different? i mean, since the first time we met?

o.w.g. thinks about it for a second, then nods.

o.w.g.: yeah. i guess i'm not the will grayson i used to be.
me: me neither. (20.34-37)