Will Grayson, Will Grayson Sexuality Quotes

After some school-board member got all upset about gays in the locker room, I defended Tiny Cooper's right to be both gigantic (and, therefore, the best member of our s***ty football team's offensive line) and gay in a letter to the school newspaper that I, stupidly, signed. (1.3)

"We need money so that we can stage our production of Tiny Dancer."

"Oh. My. Sweet. Holy. God," I say, because Tiny Dancer is this musical, written by Tiny. It's basically Tiny's slightly fictionalized life story, except it is sung, and it is—I mean, I don't use this adjective lightly—the gayest single musical in all of human history. Which is really saying something. And by gay, I don't mean that it sucks. I just mean that it's gay. It is actually—as musicals go—quite good. The songs are catchy. I'm particularly fond of "The Nosetackle (Likes Tight Ends)," which includes the memorable couplet, "The locker room isn't porn for me / 'cause you're all too damned pimple-ey." (3.8-9)

Jane says, "Look, are people going to make fun of it? Absuh-freakin'-lutely. But it's honest. It's funny, and it's accurate, and it's not full of crap. It shows gay people as whole and complicated—not just like 'oh my God I have to tell my daddy that I like boys and wah-wah it's so hard.'"

Gary rolls his eyes and exhales through pursed lips like he's smoking. "Right. You know how hard it is," he says to Jane, "since you're—oh, wait. Right. You're not gay."

"That's irrelevant," Jane responds. I glance over at Jane, who's giving Gary a look as Mr. Fortson starts talking about how you can't have Alliances within the Alliance or else there's no overarching Alliance. (3.47-49)

I realize this is not, like, boyish. I realize that properly speaking guys should only think about sex and the acquisition of it, and that they should run crotch-first toward every girl who likes them and etc. But: The part I enjoy most is not the doing, but the noticing. Noticing the way she smells like oversugared coffee, and the difference between her smile and her photographed smile, and the way she bites her lower lip, and the pale skin of her back. I just want the pleasure of noticing these things at a safe distance—I don't want to have to acknowledge that I am noticing. I don't want to talk about it or do stuff about it. (3.64)

i think there really needs to be a rule against calling a guy's sexuality into question while he's working. and anyway, i really don't want to talk about it with maura no matter where we are. because, here's the thing—we're not that close. maura is the kind of friend i enjoy swapping doomsday scenarios with. she's not, however, someone who makes me want to prevent doomsday from happening. for the year or so we've hung out, this has always been a problem. i know if i told her about liking guys, she'd probably stop wanting to date me, which would be a huge plus. but i also know i'd immediately become her gay pet, and that's the last kind of leash i want. and it's not like i'm really that gay. i f***ing hate madonna. (4.3)

me: can tiny talk normal?
tiny (in his best anderson cooper voice): yes, he can. but it's not nearly as fun when he does it.
me: you just sound so gay.
tiny: um . . . there's a reason for that?
me: yeah, but. i dunno. i don't like gay people.
tiny: but surely you must like yourself? (10.51)

gideon: so, yeah. i heard that you might be, you know . . .
me: ambidextrous? a philatelist? homosexual?

he smiles.

gideon: yeah. and, i don't know, when i realized i was gay, it really sucked that nobody was, like, 'way to go.' so i just wanted to come over and say . . .
me: way to go?

he blushes.

gideon: well, it sounds stupid like that. but that's the gist of it. welcome to the club. it's a very small club at this school.
me: i hope there aren't dues?

he stares at his shoes.

gideon: um, no. it's not really a club. (12.72-78)

"NO. No no no. I don't want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw become the whole game? Since when is the person you want to screw the only person you get to love? It's so stupid, Tiny! I mean, Jesus, who even gives a f*** about sex?! People act like it's the most important thing humans do, but come on. How can our sentient f***ing lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they're not that important." (17.64)

"Tiny's gay," adds someone else.

The coach wheels around to the bench and shouts. "Hey! HEY! No insulting teammates."

"It's not an insult," Gary says. But he isn't Gary anymore. It isn't Gary talking. It's me. "It's just a thing. Like, some people are gay. Some people have blue eyes."

"Shut up, Wrayson," the coach says.

The kid playing Tiny glances gratefully at the kid playing me, and then one of the bullies stage-whispers, "You're so gay for each other."

And I say, "We're not gay. We're eight." This happened. I'd forgotten it, but seeing the moment resurrected, I remember. (19.65-70)

"Our miracle is different because people say it's impossible. As it sayeth in Leviticus, 'Dude shall not lie with dude.'" He looks down, and then out into the audience, and I can tell he is looking for the other Will and not finding him. He stands up.

"But it doesn't say that dude shall not fall in love with dude, because that's just impossible, right? The gays are animals, answering their animal desires. It's impossible for animals to fall in love. And yet—" (19.105-106)