The Reformed Vampire Support Group The Home Quotes

How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)

Quote #1

"To this slayer, all vampires are unreformed, or why kill them? So we'll be safe with Nina's mum, even if he does have the address. He'll take one look at Estelle while she's putting out the rubbish, or hanging out the laundry, and he'll decide there can't be any vampires in her house." (4.36)

A happy home is a vampire-less home… at least in the eyes of a vampire slayer, which is totally hypothetical because none of the vamps know who the slayer actually is. But making a house look vampire-free is at least a step in the right direction toward keeping everyone safe. Or that's the theory they're running with, anyway.

Quote #2

Nevertheless, it's been hard for my mother. […] Vampires make untidy houseguests. (5.12)

Can you imagine having a vampire as a roommate or a houseguest? They'd constantly be leaving little animal corpses around, the way normal people leave dirty dishes. Plus, they'd be up all night and they get sick a lot, which could potentially lead to messes. It doesn't seem like "vampire" and "nice, tidy home" really go together.

Quote #3

In a dingy, well-worn, utilitarian environment like my mother's kitchen, vampires are all of a piece with the discolored grouting, the ancient electric jug, and the baked-on grease stains in the oven. (5.24)

Never mind, maybe we don't feel so badly for Nina's mom hosting a bunch of vampires in her home anymore. If her home were going to be on HGTV, it'd be on one of those fixer-upper shows, not one of those "look how perfect my house is" shows. And, as Nina points out, it's oddly fitting for cheerless worn-down vampires to be sitting in a cheerless worn-down kitchen.