Please Ignore Vera Dietz Theme of Abandonment

In Please Ignore Vera Dietz, Vera deals with some pretty major betrayals from the people that she loves. They seem to just pick up and leave her behind, without ever looking back. This first happens with her mother, who leaves the family when Vera is twelve and doesn't show up again, not even to visit, and then later on it happens with Vera's best friend Charlie, her partner-in-crime since childhood. First he abandons her by ditching her for another group of friends and a new girlfriend, and then he completely disappears by dying.

It's not easy being left behind all the time, and this book takes a good hard look at how hard it can be to feel alone in the world.

Questions About Abandonment

  1. Why do you think Vera's mom bounces on her family? Could they have done anything to prevent it?
  2. Do you think that Vera and her dad are still hung up on Vera's mom? Why or why not?
  3. Which abandonment by Charlie do you think was worse: When he abandons Vera as a friend or when he abandons her in death?
  4. How does Vera cope with being abandoned by the people she loves? How does her dad?

Chew on This

Try on an opinion or two, start a debate, or play the devil’s advocate.

Though Vera feels legitimately abandoned by her mother and Charlie, she's actually never been alone since her dad's always been there for her.

The only truly abandoned character in the book is Charlie—the damage done by his parents set him up to be unable to truly let anyone in, and so he's always been more alone than not.