How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
For the first time that I could remember in my whole life, I was completely uninhibited. I was dancing before the whole group, performing, showing off, and enjoying every second of it. (45.10)
This must be one of the most appealing aspects of drugs, right? Who wouldn't give just about anything to feel so free? Especially Alice, who we know suffers from crippling insecurity and a feeling like everyone is always judging her. Unfortunately, though, that kind of freedom comes with a price.
Quote #2
Remember I told you I had a date with Bill? Well he introduced me to torpedos on Friday and Speed on Sunday. They are both like riding shooting stars through the Milky Way, only a million, trillion times better. The Speed was a little scary at first because Bill had to inject it right into my arm. I remembered how much I hated shots when I was in the hospital, but this is different, now I can't wait, I positively can't wait to try it again. No wonder it's called Speed! I could hardly control myself, in fact I could have if I had wanted to, and I didn't want to. (48.2)
There is just so much going on here. First of all, how does Alice know what it's like to ride a shooting star? Secondly, there's a reason why people are afraid of needles. If you need to overcome a fear of pain in order to have a little fun, maybe you need to rethink your idea of a good time.
Quote #3
I think I'd better take some of Gramps' sleeping pills, I'm never going to be able to sleep without them. In fact I think I'd better take a supply of them. He's got plenty, and I'm sure I'll have a few bad nights at home before I get straightened out. Oh, I hope it's just a few. (58.2)
It's interesting how Alice justifies stealing drugs from her Gramps, isn't it? She doesn't think about the fact that he probably needs them, just how much she obviously wants them. Ugh.
Quote #4
I don't think the sleeping pills Doctor Langley gave me are as strong as the ones Gramps had because I have to take two of these and sometimes even three. (64.1)
That's the thing about drugs: Sometimes you need to start taking higher doses to achieve the same effect because your body gets used to them. This is the start of a pretty slippery slope, and Alice is clueless.
Quote #5
I have to take Dexies to stay high at school and at work and on dates and to do my homework, then I have to take tranquilizers to bear up at home. (74.2)
Do you have to, Alice? Or do you want to? It sounds like she's found the perfect cocktail of uppers and downers to get her through the day, and she'll justify it any way possible.
Quote #6
But next time I won't be so stupid, except there won't be any next time! I will never ever, ever, under any circumstances use drugs again. They are the root and cause of this whole rotten, stinking mess I am in, and I wish with all my heart and soul that I had never heard of them. (90.1)
This won't be the first time we hear this refrain—Alice can't resist the siren call of drugs.
Quote #7
Then I smelled it. I almost stopped talking in the middle of a sentence, the smell was so strong. Chris was over on the other side of the room but I saw her looking around and knew she had smelled it too. The air seemed to be getting thick and parts of my head were begging for it. I didn't know whether to run or stay or what. Then I turned around and one of the men passed me a joint and that was it. I wanted to be ripped, smashed, torn up as I had never wanted anything before. (101.5)
Alice's willpower is not one of her strong points. In fact, it just may be the thing she's worst at—but for all her self-berating, she never seems to identify this true problem.
Quote #8
The garbage that goes with drugs makes the price too goddamned high for anyone to pay. (104.2)
And yet, she keeps payin' it…
Quote #9
All the dumb, idiot kids who think they are only chipping are in reality just existing from one experience to the other. After you've had it, there isn't even life without drugs. It's a prodding, colorless, dissonant bare existence. It stinks. And I'm glad I'm back. Glad! Glad! Glad! (138.2)
When she's currently doing drugs, they are just the best things ever. When she's clean and sober they're a never-ending Nickelback concert. But at least here she is showing some awareness of the cycle of addicti-…. Nope. We got too hopeful. She's just back on the bandwagon and loving it.
Quote #10
On the way back on the bus I sat with Margie Ann who said she doesn't ever want to get out. She said as soon as she gets out the kids will be right there hassling her head and trying to get her to take off again and right now she knows she couldn't say no. Then she looked at me and said, "Why don't we take off, just the two of us. I know where we can get a mixed bag in a minute." (263.1)
This is actually the first time Alice shows any sign of being over the whole drug scene. Her traumatic overdose has left her pretty sour on the idea of hallucinogens, and for once she'd probably be able to turn it down if it were offered. Her ability to see how totally ridiculous Margie Ann sounds shows huge growth in terms of self-awareness, don't you think?