How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
I don't ever want to have sex with any other boy in the whole world ever… ever…. I swear I'll die a virgin if Roger and I don't get together. I couldn't stand to ever have any other boy even touch me. I'm not even sure about Roger, Maybe later when I'm older I'll feel differently. Mother says that as girls get older, hormones invade our bloodstream making our sexual desires greater. I guess I'm just developing slowly. I've heard some pretty wild stories about some of the kids at school, but I'm not them, I'm me, and besides, sex seems so strange and so inconvenient, and so awkward. (11.1)
This establishes a sexual baseline, if you will: Alice is young, innocent, and not particularly hormone-driven… yet. She's ready to save herself for all eternity for a boy who stood her up, based purely on a fantasy relationship she has going strong in her head.
Quote #2
When we got home he kissed me goodnight, but that's all. It kind of made me nervous because I don't know if he doesn't like me or just respects me or what? […] Sometimes I think no one ever will be [interested in me]. I really do like boys a lot, sometimes I think I like them too much, but I'm not very popular. (18.1)
Dating can stink for this very reason: Everything can be interpreted in a million ways, so you're stuck doing a post-mortem after every date. Poor Alice is so insecure, though, that even after a good date she's left feeling like no one will ever like her.
Quote #3
It seems that I have known her always for she understands me. I must admit that there were even times when her mother arranged dates for her that I was jealous of the boys. I hope it's not strange for a girl to feel that way about another girl. Oh I hope not! Is it possible that I am in love with her? Oh, that's dumb even for me. It's just that she is the dearest friend that I have ever had or that I shall ever have. (40.1)
It's actually really normal to have moments when you question your sexuality. There's even something called the Kinsey Scale, which puts forth the theory that everyone's sexual identity falls somewhere along a spectrum, rather than just gay versus straight. Alice is having one of those moments where she questions her sexuality because of her love for Beth, but unfortunately, she's just confusing love with crippling codependency.
Quote #4
Well, last night it happened. I am no longer a virgin! […] I wonder if sex without acid could be so exciting, so wonderful, so indescribable. I always thought it just took a minute, or that it would be like dogs mating, but it wasn't like that at all. (54.1)
Oof: "Like dogs mating." That's all.
Quote #5
All my life I've thought that the first time I had sex with someone it would be something special, and maybe even painful, but it turned out to be just part of the brilliant, freaky, way-out, forever pattern. (54.3)
Whatever happened to saving herself for Roger no matter what, forever and ever and ever? Alice's foray into LSD makes her give up on that dream pretty dang quickly, and we can't help but think she's maybe a little disappointed in herself.
Quote #6
Then [Roger] kissed me and it was what I had always dreamed it would be since I was in kindergarten. Other boys have kissed me but it wasn't the same at all. This was fondness and liking and desire and regard and admiration and affection and tenderness and attachment and yearning. It was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in my life. (57.3)
It's amazing that Roger was able to pack all that stuff into one kiss. Hoo-ah.
Quote #7
I think it would be much easier to be a virgin, marry someone and then find out what life is all about. I wonder how it will be for me? It might be great because I'm practically a virgin in the sense that I've never had sex except when I've been stoned and I'm sure without drugs I'll be scared out of my mind. (60.3)
It's amazing how some people can warp the definition of virgin to suit their purposes. That said, Alice kind of has a point: She's always had drugs acting as a social lubricant, so doing the horizontal tango while sober will most definitely be something new and different.
Quote #8
I could tell them a thing or two, because I imagine that sex without drugs isn't even the same thing as the mad, forever wonder of it when you're really way out there. (68.2)
Oh, so now she's all high and mighty about sex being way better when you're high… but she hasn't had sex when she wasn't high, so how does she know which one is better?
Quote #9
Another day, another blow job. (165)
This is a pretty different attitude than the one Alice has at the beginning of the book, huh? Her experiences have desensitized her to just about everything, so now sex is no longer some magical experience, it's merely a tool to be utilized so she can get more drugs.